she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
