I hate your face
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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