I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
