Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
