i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
