we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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