i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
