oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize