i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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