there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
