guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
