So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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