yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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