On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
