absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
