her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
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