Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
