Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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