even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
