You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize