I bet he comes in French.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
