You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
