Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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