The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
