It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
