cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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