I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
