Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
