we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
