sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
