I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
