it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
