I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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