I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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