so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
