i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
