Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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