White coat. Heels.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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