I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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