No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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