I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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