dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
