There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
