tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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