I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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