I showed him my bush... on skype.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We need to get me chipped asap
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
