Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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