Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
