Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
