Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
