K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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