Non-Jews are for practice
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
