whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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