Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
