i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
