sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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