Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The beer is more important than you right now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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